Saturday, March 7, 2009

Blog #78: Send in the “you know whats!”

Isn't it rich?

Are we a pair?

Me here at last on the ground,

You in mid-air.

Send in the clowns.



Isn't it bliss?

Don't you approve?

One who keeps tearing around,

One who can't move.

Where are the clowns?

   Send in the clowns.






Just when I'd stopped opening doors,

Finally knowing the one that I wanted was yours,

Making my entrance again with my usual flair,

Sure of my lines,

No one is there.




Don't you love farce?

My fault I fear.

I thought that you'd want what I want.

Sorry, my dear.

But where are the clowns?

Quick, send in the clowns.

Don't bother, they're here.




Isn't it rich?

Isn't it queer,

Losing my timing this late

In my career?

And where are the clowns?

There ought to be clowns.

Well, maybe next year.




Little Eddy would like to thank A Little Night Music for the poem, and 4chan.org for the images.


–  –

My how time flies. Remember back to those dark, dingy days of yesteryear when Apple Computer was simply that haven for hippies and the unwashed. The Macintosh was a computer with an operating system so easy and intuitive that even a small child could use it? Which of course meant that real business people and serious computer users would have nothing to do with it? Apple made “toys” the business community snorted back then. In terms of real computers there was IBM first, and then they sent in the Clones (You know who you are, Dell and Hewlett-Packard.). And it took eleven years from the introduction of the first Macintosh in 1984 until 1995 before Redmond brought its first attempt at replicating the Macintosh experience into the world of IBM clones with Windows 95. In an attempt to get it right, or at least better, they came out with Windows 98 a scant three years later. Well, as Bob Dylan once rightfully noted, “The Times They Are a’Changing.” According to that unblushing clarion call of capitalism, Fortune Magazine, Apple is the most “admired” company in the world. And would you believe, it is that for the second year in a row? Way to go, Apple! In the current issue of Fortune, Alyssa Abkowitz makes note of this.


“It’s been a rocky year for Apple,” writes Alyssa Abkowitz. “CEO Steve Jobs’ health made headlines, and critics said Cupertino wasn’t being open enough about it. But customers remained loyal to the brand that made white ear buds cool. As much of the computer industry struggled, Apple shipped 22.7 million iPods during its first quarter (up 3 percent from last year), 2.5 million Macs (up 9 percent), and 4.4 million iPhones. No wonder Apple tops our Most Admired list for the second year in a row.”



In the nine key attributes used to rank the companies, Apple got top marks (1 out of 12) for innovation, people management and quality of products/services. It got lower marks (5 out of 12) for social responsibility and global competitiveness.



Curiously, when judged by its peers (i.e. other companies in the computer industry), Apple came in No. 2 after Xerox (XRX) and above Hewlett-Packard (HPQ).


In the broader list of most admired companies in any industry — judged by companies both inside and outside the computer field — HP came in No. 30 and Xerox didn’t make the cut.


For further details about Apple’s sweep of the Fortune poll of the World’s Most admired companies go here!

And here is a side note of a bit of news of which I just know you’re most anxious to happen upon: Bill and Melinda Gates do not let their children have iPods and iPhones. Shocking news I know, that these who are surely among America’s richest children could be so deprived, but according to Melinda Gates in the current issue of Vogue Magazine, it is absolutely true. As they are growing up these poor children from what was at one time America’s wealthiest family, are being deprived of their Cupertino granted constitutional rights to own their very own iPods and iPhones. What could possibly be the reason for this rank deprivation? Are the Gates parental units involved in a desperate conspiracy to conceal from their progeny the built in superiority of the Apple brand? Since Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has also publicly boasted that his children are equally iPod deprived, perhaps there is some kind of anti-Apple bug running rampant through that Death Star to the North known as Redmond, Washington? Perhaps a fund needs to be started, a fund to furnish sparkling new iPods and iPhones to a growing generation of Gates and Ballmer scions, for what is wealth without genuine Cupertino white ear buds to sport in one’s aural cavities. Perhaps we could begin the process of taking up a collection here!.


Oh well, you can be absolutely sure that these otherwise blessed offspring are being allowed the full range of Zune products, although whether or not this is something worth twittering about is indeed a mute question. But most intriguing of all, could a ZunePhone be in their near future? For the full, unblushing story go here.!

–  –

To “Twitter” or not to Twitter. Would that have been Hamlet’s dark dilemma had Shakespeare lived in this brand new 21st Century? And none have treated the problem with more inborn acumen than has Daily Show star Jon Stewart. If Shakespeare was living in 2009, would he have Hamlet twittering “to be or not to be?” It’s certainly well under the legal twitter limit of 140 characters a twit. Well, we were on track to bring you Stewart’s enlightening dissertation on the “Twitter” phenomenon when someone masking as Sumner Redstone threw us a curve. It turns out that the YouTube video we had originally embedded showing Stewart’s take on the fine art of Twittering was suddenly pulled from YouTube due to one of those nasty copyright infringements we have learned to put up with, if not love. In our desperation to fulfill our reading public’s well known need for its regular Jon Stewart fix we turned to the NBC and Fox owned website hulu.com where we found the following complete program from March 3, 2009 which features former Supreme Court justice Sandra Day O’Connor as Stewart’s guest. It is priceless, and Stewart reviews that Limbaugh speech to CPAC which so impressed us here at Little Eddy’s Blog and which has since been having reverberations all across America, if you are to believe what you hear on CNN and Fox. Thanks to the fine art of video embedding we are pleased to be able to bring you the entire program. Clear yourself a half hour of time and enjoy.


–  –

How should Bill Gates introduce Bill Gates? That’s the father introducing the son to the Rotary Club in Seattle:


"If you'd indulge me for a minute, I'd like to get something off my chest. There was a time when I was somebody in this town. (Laughter, applause.) Those were the days when somebody said, 'Bill Gates,' they were talking about me! I ran a law firm, had a lot of employees, when local groups like Rotary were looking for a speaker, I was a hot -- maybe warm -- ticket.



"Look at me. Now I don't even have a name. I've become just 'Senior.' A suffix. Nobody reports to me. But I report to my son.



"Worst of all, I've been reduced to a warm-up act at Rotary.



“Bill Gates Sr.



"Now, seriously, let's get into this introduction. Having introduced and been introduced before, I have developed some very fixed ideas about the standards to be observed on such occasions. One, identify the very best thing you can say about the speaker. Hopefully something that ends with "est." Two, do not exaggerate.



"So I went into some very careful thought based on these rules as I prepared for this evening.



"Youngest. Well, pretty young. But youngest what?



"Richest. Doesn't work anymore. The folks at the Forbes 400 put an end to that.



"Smartest might be OK. But I don't honestly know the IQs of everyone, or even everyone in this room.



"Then it came.



"Fellow Rotarians, families and friends. Let me introduce Bill Gates. Bill Gates who, with the support of his wife, Melinda, is the largest philanthropist in the history of the world."



Our thanks to Todd Bishop and the TechFlash Technology news site for this. You can find it by clicking here!

–  –

And finally there’s good news out there for readers of Nick Scipio’s ongoing novel, Summer Camp, Book Four, Christy. Chapter fifteen has just been posted, and may be found here! Summer Camp is a delicious series of books about a young boy’s coming of age spending summers at a nudist camp. The books take you through his growing up, and are named for his original teacher, Susan (Book 1), his first girl friend Gina (Book 2), his second girl friend, Kendall (Book 3), and the final book is named for the one he eventually marries, although the story hasn’t taken us that far as yet. (Book 4, Christy)


It is quite a different experience, reading a book as it is being written. It is certainly not something for the impatient or feint of heart. However, there it lies, blossoming before your eyes, though several months may pass between chapters. The series is for those of you out there who feel that there’s more to life than what the usual author puts down to page. Scipio, by taking you through Paul’s conquests in great detail, allows you to relive them with him to the extent that the printed page (make that the computer screen) will allow. What is so refreshing about Scipio’s Summer Camp series is that the characters are drawn so clearly, especially Paul, but also including his friend Tripp and all of the other characters in the story. Paul’s life, probably like yours and mine, gets messy at times, and it is fascinating to see how he handles his problems as they come up. And for most of the rest of us, we could just wish Paul’s problems paralleled ours.


Even if you decide to await Book 4’s conclusion before diving in, the first three books are lying there beckoning on his storiesonline.com home page. Storiesonline is also home to my other two favorite authors, Wizard (the Trailer Park Series) and Russell Hoisington (the Wynter series.) Although he has been shamelessly derelict of late, some of Uncle Pan’s stories also reside at storiesonline.com, although the bulk of them live on in perpetuity at mrdouble.com.


–  –

And so another week’s Little Eddy Blog winds down. Like that snake you ran over the other day, this week’s blog spasms its final throes. Hopefully we’ll be able to revive the sucker this time next week. Hopefully too we’ll see you then.


The Real Little Eddy

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